Validate Yourself

‘Seeking validation will keep you trapped. You do not need anyone or anything to approve your worth.’ 

One thing that keeps many people from reaching their true potential is the constant need for approval. It is sad to see how we are so willing to conform to what other people want us to be at the expense of our happiness. We have allowed ourselves to rely on the opinions of the people around us. No wonder many of us are living miserable and frustrated lives. We are not taking responsibility for our lives because we are too concerned about what others think. 

Unfortunately, many of us have discarded our dreams in favor of other people’s visions for us. Some people are in relationships and professions that they are unhappy with just because they allowed others to influence their choices without considering what would bring them happiness. Other people miss opportunities to make a significant impact because they always hold themselves back, lest they fail and others mock them for it.

You can only become great if you break out of the cycle that requires you to seek acceptance from people who do not even share your passion, vision, and values. 

Why do we seek approval from others?

Many times, the need for validation stems from our insecurities. We need more confidence to believe that we are enough on our own. We feel inadequate because we cannot achieve anything without other people cheering us on. Our very sense of worth is so little that we need the praise of those around us to become valuable.

Sometimes the need for validation comes after unfortunate life events knock our confidence down a peg. When we experience loss or failure in any form, it does a lot to put us down. The sting of defeat often makes us hesitant to try anything that risks getting hurt or rejected. That knock to our self-esteem keeps us from doing anything we are unsure of unless other people get behind the idea and hold our hand through it.

Another reason we seek acceptance is that we are eager to please the people surrounding us. Having an unhealthy attachment to the praise and applause of others will trap you into doing everything you can to keep that praise coming, even if it means compromising your values.

Seeking validation comes naturally to people who need more confidence in their identity. Such people are always looking for ways to fit in. That need to be accepted takes root during adolescence. Young people grapple with an identity crisis because they want to be part of the cool crowd. It does not help that this follows us into adulthood. There is pressure for people to live fake lives to please others. You only have to look at social media to see how much pressure people are under to do certain things just to be rated among the best.

It is challenging to gain approval from people because their perception of what is acceptable constantly changes. It is frustrating to try and keep up with such inconsistent preferences. The only validation you need in your life comes from your conviction that you are enough. 

Look within for validation. 

‘Anytime you put your self-worth in the hands of someone or something outside of you, you are at their mercy.’ 

Seeking acknowledgment from others for something you have done well is natural. Desiring appreciation for what you have achieved is not inadequate. The problem is when you constantly need someone else to praise you for your sense of worth. When that approval fails, you can feel like you have not done enough. It amplifies your insecurities.

You do not need to rely on others for approval when you acknowledge your strength and efforts, knowing that you have given your best to accomplish something. It would be best if you always gave yourself credit for your efforts to achieve your goals. It takes a lot of confidence to put yourself out there. Acknowledge that even when no one does it for you.

If you have faith in your skills and abilities, you will not need to look to others for approval or permission. You step up where you need to without doubting yourself or asking if you deserve the chance to try. Develop confidence in yourself by seeing yourself in a positive light. Acknowledge your strengths and accept your shortcomings. Permit yourself to put your skills to the test instead of cowering back in fear of what people may think. 

Every time you fall or fail is a testament to your resilience. Never let people knock down your confidence just because you tried something that did not work out. Otherwise, you will stagnate, wasting your potential to do great things. Everyone experiences moments of failure. Only the brave know you can try again until success is a given.

Live life on your terms. Never let the influence of another person hinder you from doing what you want. Conforming to their opinions will only plunge you into regrets. 

‘Validation is a manifestation of self-doubt.’ Laura Haver.

Any self-doubt will leave you vulnerable to seeking the approval of others. Believe in yourself. Appreciate the value you bring to the table and praise your efforts to accomplish all that you can. When that approval becomes second nature, you will not seek the praise of others.

Until next time, be resilient!